Weigh in Wednesday & a Confession

I am going to be pretty honest. I have never necessarily been what you would consider fat, but I have been uncomfortable with my body time and time again. Honestly, I think all women feel that way at some point. The highest I have been at one point was right around the 140 mark, and while that doesn't sound like a very outrageous number when you are 5 foot 2 it definitely makes you look like Chubby McChubster. I was miserable, and the sad thing is that I didn't even know it until I began losing weight. I didn't realize I had gained nearly 30 pounds. I literally thought, "Damn, they are making pants smaller than they use to." Can you say straight up denial?! It wasn't until a life changing thing happened (that I am not ready to share just yet) caused me to reevaluate myself. I looked in the mirror and was unhappy. I was unhappy with my body and that unhappiness had began to spill over into other areas in my life. I am normally a very peppy and bubbly person, and had become a person who didn't want anything to do with anything. I couldn't even believe that I was at that point. I knew I ate like crazy and never moved a muscle & I knew that I wasn't who I usually was but blamed it on other things. I never realized until that moment that it was taking a toll on me, on my figure, on my self esteem, and even on the ones I cared about the most. I chose right there in that moment to make a difference. At first, I am not real sure how it happened weight just started coming off. That was in August of 2011. By January I had got down to about 125 pounds and joined a gym. I was feeling good and looking good. I can remember the first time I went to the gym and they measured and weighed me thinking in my head there was no way I could get even smaller. I started exercising and soon it became an obsession. I started the journey at 142 and was a size 8 I got down to 115 & was a size 2. I was looking and feeling better about myself more than I ever have in my entire life. I wore that bikini last summer and could confidently say for the first time ever I wasn't self-conscious. I felt great. And then life slowly started creeping on me. I became busier and busier. School started, working two jobs, trying to balance a social life, housework, and trying to keep my fiance happy...it all became overwhelming so I started pushing fitness to the side. I started slacking and for a while that was fine. It didn't matter I was still skinny. But slowly and surely the weight started creeping back on. And the tummy started getting flabby again, my pants are tighter, my face started getting fat. I seriously can gain 1 pound and it shows straight in my face, what is up with that?! Then, my biggest downfall is my diet. Y'all I am a sweets girl. I love them all! Oh and did I mention Tyler's family owns Milner's Dairy Delight...as in I have total access to FREE icecream ALL THE TIME. Not good for this girl who has the biggest sweet tooth in the South. I am also a late night binger. I have never, ever, ever shared that with anyone. I control myself to do it when no one is looking, late at night so that no one can hold me accountable. Tyler works nights some during the week, and it is so easy for me to eat as much as I want and think that I am getting away with it. It is sick...I can sit there full and miserable and still reach for more. As in last night sitting on my couch I had already ate a corn dog and some veggies for supper. Well, later that night around 11:30 I decided I was hungry (I wasn't hungry I was bored) and went to McDonald's...I ordered a Chicken Bacon McWrap, Large Fry, Large Coke, and 4 cookies. I ate it ALL. I went to bed miserable and hating myself for inhaling all that. I woke up this morning even more miserable with myself and feeling bloated to hell and back. I also woke up this morning knowing that I need to get back on track, QUICK! I am not sure what my weight is right now. I am going to the gym tonight and will be taking a picture of the scale. I know it will not read what I want it to say. It is time I get my hiney into gear.   So with saying that I am jumping on board with the #4MChallenge to try and tone this body up and shed some pounds. I will be doing the Ripped In 30 DVD. I will also be doing this ab challenge everyday & running a couple times a week.

Some chubby & skinny pictures. For the life of me I could not find a chubby picture in a bathing suit..hmm surprise, surprise!

Fat Face

 



Easter 2011 busting out of size 8s



Summer 2012...the only summer I have been confident

Memorial Day 2012

June 2012

Cotton Row 5k in 90 degree temps



October 2012 in size 2 dress

Now that I have shared some of my journey, please share some tips and recipes with me :)

Happy Hump Day lady friends!

xoxo, Blondie